Wednesday, April 2, 2014

'Noah' on the rocks

Donny Osmond recommended we all skip the movie "Noah."
This entertainer who successfully played the part of Joseph in "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" said the prophet in the movie was unrecognizable.
Here's what he posted:
"I just saw the movie Noah. I really wanted to like it. I really did. However, I still like Russell Crowe despite the movie.
"I would not recommend it.
"It's completely inaccurate and I was thoroughly disappointed in the portrayal of a great prophet from a book I hold dear."

At first we laughed. A guy who played a prophet in a musical spoof calling the prophet Noah a fiction?
We should have listened to his advice.
As it turned out, Marc and I sat through what I call "Noah and the Transformers" mostly open-mouthed and in a state of disbelief.
It's not that we expected a churchy movie.
We expected grit, earthy behavior and some slight deviations from the Bible.
But, come on, a stowaway hiding on the ark where eating meat is the greatest sin?
A creator who can fix a barren woman but can't find a bunch of berries to eat?
Giant rock guys guarding the place, rock guys who talk to God with an edge of bitterness because they were left behind the first time?
All the animals drugged into endless sleep as the ark sails along? (That cuts down on the noise, the needed feed and the waste problem.)
An ark without cubits?
A God who wants Noah to kill baby girls so as to ensure that mankind dies out?
Here is a movie written without faith and hope and, frankly, without a God of truth and love.
It makes one envision all these screenwriters in a room trying to make this story work without the essential elements.
"Let's see, Noah has to be a man, just a man...hmmm, fueled by rage and despair. We can't have him actually communicating with God.
"The world has to be worried about him but not because he's preaching repentance and change but because he has things they want.
"He can't be a wimp."
Noah has to keep his word to a God he doesn't trust or like.
He has to operate alone with only Emma Watson to set him straight. 
It's makes this more of a comedy than an actual drama. It really is strange and disappointing.
We just can't wait for the Mystery Science Theater guys to get a hold of it.

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