Thursday, May 17, 2012

Breaking out

Over the years, there's been a remarkable amount of breakage in the relationship between Marc and me.
I tend to aggravate him and he tends to respond with brute strength so he's often breaking or shattering things.
Before we were married, he threw a set of keys into the snow that bounced back and destroyed a headlight on his car.
He once slammed a door at the newspaper office so hard that the glass inset completely shattered.
Currently we have a louvered pantry door that won't shut because he closed it hard and it fell onto the floor.
He has more power in his punch than he realizes so when he pounds his fist on a table or a countertop, things fly into the air.
When he slams a car door, it shakes the whole car.
That's the mad part.
Then there's the — um, part where he just drops or fails to set something carefully enough on a ledge or hard surface.
Or he forgets where he put it entirely.
From the dropping we have mismatched glasses, vases and candy dishes.
From the absentmindedness, we have lost Bose earphones and we're missing belts for our bike rack. He can never find a hammer or a tape measure.
He never means to break or lose stuff. It just keeps happening to him.
So when he came upstairs the other morning with this woebegone look, I recognized it was something serious.
He presented me with his new iPad — all wrapped in its $40 protective cover and $30 screen protector but now, in the corner was a spiderweb of fractures.
Across the screen were a couple of hairline cracks.
"I dropped it on the tiles in the bathroom," he said sadly. "I'm sick about it."
So was I. Were my Angry Birds game-playing days over?
We turned it on. The screen looked pretty much the same and all the little icons for the various and beloved apps were still there.
It was going to be OK.
It'll only be $150 or so to replace the glass and we'll do that in a while.
Marc is sorry and he didn't do it on purpose or in a fit of rage so I can't be too mad for too long.
Besides, when he reads this and realizes I've now told the world about his temper, he'll probably break up with me unless I agree to the repair.

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