Show me my money

I knew it wasn't going to be easy.
I've been with Wells Fargo long enough to know they REALLY want to keep customers.
They jump up when you come in the door, memorize your name off your checks and send you birthday cards in the mail (OK, maybe I made that part up).
I opened an account with them when I worked in downtown Salt Lake and felt I needed a bank next door for cash.
My husband was going to some school at the time so we took out a no-interest credit card so we could bundle his related expenses.
Right away it got complicated.
The no-interest credit card didn't mean to them what it meant to me. I thought it meant we could charge his tuition and save up to pay it back -- not having to pay interest or make payments until then.
They thought I should be paying it back in regular installments just like with any other card.
When I went in to confront them, they tried to talk me into all kinds of extras when I simply wanted to pay it off and be done.
I've since moved on. We never used the card again and I only have about $16 in my account. I'm rarely in downtown Salt Lake anymore so I don't use Wells Fargo who recently sent a letter saying they were going to start charging $7 a month for maintaining my little account.
I went to the drive-up to close it out. "You have to talk to a banker inside," said the teller.
I went inside to talk to the banker. "Have a seat, she'll be out shortly," said the inside teller.
I sat. I went in. I explained that I wanted out.
She sighed.
"Where do you want to go?" she asked.
I told her I like the local credit union and don't want to lose my little $16 to fees.
She resisted my efforts.
She said I'm making a mistake.
She said I'll be sorry. She said she'll send in the goons to break my legs (oops, made that part up too).
She explained a whole bunch of options including a money-transfer kind of thing where if I remember to move about $50 back and forth every month I won't have to pay a fee.
She said I have until the 19th to make my move so come back when I'm sure.
I can see I have a battle ahead.
To get my $16 out, I may have to break in and steal it.